Into the Ocean
by Lady Bliss
Summary: [Inuyasha x Kikyo] [Inuyasha x Kagome] Song fic, Into the Ocean by Blue October. A story about Inuyasha's conflict for his two loves. There he sees Kikyo, but Kagome is not too far away. He feels the pain from both girls and himself.


**Into the Ocean**  
_Song "Into the Ocean" by Blue October  
Story by Lady Bliss_

_- "Let the waves up take me down…"_

"I'm just a normal boy  
That sank when I fell overboard  
My ship would leave the country  
But I'd rather swim ashore."

There she was again. The same maiden that entered his life, bringing him the greatest joy and the greatest sorrow he had ever felt. She had yet to notice the half demon standing from affair who had been watching and waiting. He knew he should not have been there observing the woman, but he wanted to - _had_ to. Even if she rejected his love he would still be more than willing to give it.

He took a step forward, his hand reaching toward her even though he was so far away. He wanted to feel her touch and love like he had only fifty years before. He wanted to protect her from her own pain, yet conflicted with himself for he was her pain. This thought made his feet stop moving, but it was too late.

Kikyo looked forward to where she heard the rustling of leaves to find Inuyasha standing not to far away. She slowly eased down from the tree she had placed herself in and put her feet to the forest's floor. What she would give to feel it, even if it was cold and wet. She looked at Inuyasha's out-stretched hand, giving an emotionless expression.

Inuyasha hated the way she looked at him, as if he were the villain she thought he was all that time ago. It pained him, causing him to remember and miss the smiles she had once given him. He let his arm fall back down as he took a few more steps toward her.

"Stop Inuyasha," the maiden commanded, reaching her arm back to withdraw an arrow from its quiver. She held up her bow and quipped the arrow, taking aim at the half demon, "Not another step." 

"Without a life vest I'd be stuck again  
Wish I was much more masculine  
Maybe then I could learn to swim  
Like 'fourteen miles away'" 

He wanted to obey her commands, but at the same time he did not. His own desire was to run to her, embrace her in his arms once more. His desire conflicted with his need to please his beloved priestess. His heart and mind battled, but in the end his body moved and his feet began to travel her way.

Kikyo hesitated. Her soul collectors had yet to return with the souls and energy she needed to even pull the string on her bow back. Her will pressed on and she quickly released the arrow and let it fly. She reached back and equipped another arrow as her last only whipped past Inuyasha's shoulder. "Do you want to die?" she asked rhetorically.

Swallowing the hard lump that built in his throat, Inuyasha slowly shook his head. "Kikyo," he called softly.

Again, the maiden released the arrow, yet it did not glow the familiar purple it usually had. All she could feel was pain - pain that grew harder and harder to handle at the sight of the half demon, but she did not want to kill him. She left her pain for Inuyasha and her hatred for Naraku.

The arrow grazed the half demon's shoulder, causing him to grab for the wound that began to bleed. The rush of physical pain released him from the trance that Kikyo often put him under, and his body began to obey his mind when it told him to stop. His heart somehow released an explosion of endorphins which made the pain fade away as he looked back at Kikyo who was slowly falling to the ground from exhaustion.

"Now floating up and down  
I spin, colliding into sound  
Like whales beneath me diving down  
I'm sinking to the bottom of my  
Everything that freaks me out  
The lighthouse beam has just run out  
I'm cold as cold as cold can be…  
_be_."

Inuyasha ran to catch the priestess before she hit the ground. He knelt to the ground and let her lay across his lap with his arms holding her to his chest. He bowed his head to plant a soft kiss to her cold forehead, wishing so much that her body was not as icy and lifeless as it was. He would give his warmth and soul to save hers if he could.

He felt himself being lost in his love for her once again. Nothing seemed to be around him at the moment, nothing but his love for the woman in his arms. The trees, the grass, the dirt, the leaves - nothing was there. The moonlight began to fade away as well, leaving him in the darkness of her heart.

Slowly his name was being called. It was not coming from the lifeless clay body in his arms, but in a saddened voice that was not too far away. Soon the life around him started coming back and he let it. Even with his desire to be in the darkness with Kikyo, he let himself find the way back to find the holder of the voice calling his name.

"Where is the coastguard  
I keep looking each direction  
For a spotlight, give me something  
I need something for protection  
Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine  
the jetsam sunk, I'm left behind  
I'm treading for my life believe me  
(How can I keep up this breathing?)"

It was harder than he had anticipated to remove himself from the cold heart. The voice was echoing the same depressed note as he searched for its beholder. He let his grip on the girl loosen, but he refused to let her go completely. He would find a way, he thought, find a way to be lost in both the warmth of life and the chill of death.

The world came back to the half demon. The smell of rain caught his nose, making him look up at the sky. The stars started to reappear, and soon the moonlight lit his way. There he saw the other, the one that called him out of Kikyo's hold.

"Kagome," Inuyasha drawled as he saw her fall to her knees at the scene. His heart ached from the pain he felt for the other and from the pain he felt for the woman in his arms.

"Will you choose that girl over me?" Kikyo asked in a whispered voice, her eyes locked on Inuyasha's nervous and shocked face.

"Not knowing how to think  
I scream aloud, begin to sink  
My legs and arms are broken down  
With envy for the solid ground  
I'm reaching for the life within me  
How can one man stop his ending  
I thought of just your face  
Relaxed, and floated into space"

Inuyasha's heart began to race. His love for Kikyo pulled him in one direction, but his blossoming love for Kagome tried tugging the other way. He looked down at Kikyo as she stared back up at him, and then looked over at Kagome as she stared as well. His eyes were wide as he tried to find a way to settle the emotional conflict that began to thicken in the air.

Kikyo and Kagome both accepted him, they both shared the same face, they both served his heart a purpose. Kikyo was dead and Kagome did not even belong in his time. Kikyo wanted him to be human so they could be together, while Kagome loved him as a half demon. Was that a good enough reason to let his heart grow cold toward Kikyo? Even if it were, he could not do it. He could not forget her, not until she was at peace.

"I want to swim away but don't know how  
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean  
Let the waves up take me down  
Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah  
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down  
Let the rain come down Let the rain come down"

Inuyasha wanted to escape the pain he felt. He wanted to help both Kikyo and Kagome escape their pain as well. He wished that there was a way to make everything better, but his mind began another war with his heart. His mind told him the truth - there was no way that everything could be better right then, causing his heart to take a large blow.

The rain that he had smelt a few moments before started to trickle down. It started as a light sprinkle, but quickly turned into a downpour. He closed his eyes, and let his mind and heart be at peace for that split second with the fantasy that formed.

He saw the rain washing away all the pain. He felt it bringing Kikyo's restless soul peace. He felt it bringing him to terms with his lover's death and allowing him to embrace the life of a new.

"Now waking to the sun  
I calculate what I had done  
Like jumping from the bow (yeah)  
Just to prove I knew how (yeah)  
It's midnight's late reminder of  
The loss of her, the one I love  
My will to quickly end it all  
Set front row in my need to fall"

When the rain cleared and the sun rose, the pain was still the same for them all. Kikyo was still in pain, Kagome was still in pain, and Inuyasha was still in pain. Even though Kikyo found her strength and carried on and Kagome left for home to clear her mind, Inuyasha was still stuck in the middle. All the half demon could do was build a thicker barrier around his heart. What else was there to do for him? It was either live with the pain, or try to force it away.

He knew deep down he would have to live with it until his deeds were done, but would never admit the pain he felt. He covered it with angry woods and an attitude, sometimes even fooling himself. His mind never thought of it, but his heart wished the pain could be washed away as easy as the ocean's waves wash over the sand.

"Into the ocean, end it all  
Into the ocean, end it all  
Into the ocean, end it all  
Into the ocean...end it all"


End file.
